Friday, May 28, 2010
Some say you should accept whatever you are born with. Some say with things, people and even on your own, you can make a change. We all know how difficult that is. Things are just things. They might give you temporary happiness. One can try and change what he or she is born with, but that takes immense effort and pain. I always chose to change things on my own, make my own path and to find my own happiness. But what happens when you meet someone who wants to help you in your endeavour. What then? I say beware of such people. These are the people who think they know you well. They think they understand you well. They promise you zillion things. They promise you happiness and moreover the worst thing they do is they make you dream once again. I say once again because I had stopped dreaming. Especially about certain things such as love, family and a life different than what I have. I had prepared myself to live life alone and independent. I knew my course of life. I knew I could live alone without a loving family or people whom I can call family. I had made sure I think of achievable and realistic goals. I never wanted a lavish life or a very high goal. I have a very practical reason behind it. Once you have money, property and everything else, you feel the need to have people around you and if you don't get those kind of people around you then all that you earned and achieved stops making sense. Hence, I rather chose a comfortable small house and a well paying, satisfactory job as my goal. I never dreamed that some one would love me a lot and that I would have a happy life and future with that person. I don't like to dream such things. It is just not realistic. Love and family are two things which I was never destined to get in life. And hence I continued believing so until that one person came into my life.
DREAMS. Take it from me, dreams are the worst thing humans thought of. He asked me to let go of the wall around me. He taught me to dream again. He gave me HOPE, another deceiving word. What we women don't understand is that men just pretend to understand us. In reality they can't make head or tail of what we say and do. And if that woman is me, then it gets all the more complicated. I am not a predictable person and I am impulsive and on the side of crazy. One definitely has to put in a lot of effort to completely understand me. So yes, this person believed that he understood me well and needless to say, he was wrong. Just one crazy whim of mine and he was blown off.
Now what happened to all those promises? What happened to those DREAMS?
It all goes down the drain. Now that person probably has nothing much to lose as such, but he taught me to dream and to dwell hopes. Now how do I go back to my old self? How do I stop dreaming? I don't know how and when I will be successful in being what I was before meeting him. I think only time can tell.